I see a common phrase that goes around: “Feelings are not facts.”  While I agree with the inherent sentiments, it’s wrong.  Feelings are facts.  Your interpretation of feelings may not be factual.  

Actual feelings are factual insomuch as they reflect disparate and connected processes within the body and mind, occurring in real time.  They give you information.  Sensations and emotions link us in to a wealth of details.  Researchers have long struggled to pinpoint feelings exactly (this is one of the reasons why there are no definitive feelings charts/references and why therapists will list anywhere from 3 basic emotions and as many as 100 or more), and though neuroscience is helping us understand more what occurs biologically in the brain, the conclusion is far from definitive.  

Making this separation that feelings are facts may seem a bit pedantic- splitting hairs.  My first supervisor I ever had in my internship would tell me something along the lines of this: “Separating feelings from thoughts is foundational for emotional intelligence.”  Agreed.  And it’s just plain healthy.  CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) helps us get really good at being honest with the interaction between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  Problems with anxiety, depression, dissociation, psychosis, narcissism, and all of mental health at some level deals with how much a person is living in reality.  None of us are 100% or will be perfect at it.  However, we can grow.  Do our thoughts line up with the bigger picture?  Are thoughts and emotions congruent?  Do behaviors fit what we believe?  If I feel chest tightness, racing heart, or my stomach drop when I’m around another person, the conclusion is not necessarily that that person is bad or I need to get away.  Yes, sometimes that is the case.  I have also had these feelings around people I trust implicitly.  There are a number of factors that can lead to feelings- amount of sleep I got last night, hunger, and stress in general, to name a small few.

So when people say feelings are not facts, I understand what they’re saying and support the gist.  I think your mental health will thank you, though, if you appreciate that your body and brain is created to give you information- and that information is factual insomuch as it exists and is connected to you.  How you interpret the meaning may not be factual.  If you separate these two, you will better honor what your body and mind are telling you, while, if you pursue growth, you can learn to line up your life more congruently for your mental health and the wellbeing of those around you.  ​

America today sees one of the highest levels of anxiety of any place in the world.[1] We are clamoring for attention online, wanting to be seen, to be loved.  Suicides by teens and young adults appear to be higher than they’ve been in years.[2]  We are the wealthiest nation on the face of the planet,[3] and we can’t rest.  We have more than anyone else (as a whole), and we can’t stop.  Children who are now becoming adults are feeling this crushing weight of anxiety and expectation (whether on themselves or from outside)- ‘get the degree and the top job, get married, have the house, have children, don’t screw it up.’   And we know that anxiety has biological and genetic influences, but these are not 100% causal by any means.  Our response makes a difference.[4]

• “Like most individual characteristics, psychopathologic symptoms are determined by many factors. The individual family environment is a relatively weak predictor of neuroticism and other personality traits, with genetics explaining much more of the variance…. There are also strong cultural influences on psychiatric symptoms — that is, an environmental influence outside of the individual family. Over time, American culture has increasingly shifted toward an environment in which more and more young people experience poor mental health and psychopathology, possibly due to an increased focus on money, appearance, and status rather than on community and close relationships” (emphasis mine).[6]

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (or GAD, the disorder most connected to general worries) is more impairing in higher income countries.[6]  The occurrence of GAD (lifetime prevalence) boiled down to:

• Countries with the following incomes:
• Low:        1.6%
• Middle:        2.8%
• High [U.S.]:    5.0% 

This is different from OCD, for instance, which sees about a 1-2% worldwide occurrence and doesn’t seem to vary a whole lot from country to country.  Depression seems to occur fairly consistently across the world, as well.  

I think the ultimate answer lies in Christ.  Hebrews 4:9 says, “...there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God.”  Matthew 11:30: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  

*Insert deep relaxing breath.
  
God ordained rest from the beginning of creation.  Genesis 2:2-3: says, “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.”  God purposed rest for us, his creation.  God wasn’t winded and saying, “Oh boy, that creating sure made me tired...let me sit back and take it easy.”  We know he created it for us.  Jesus states, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27).  If we back up to the institution of the Sabbath given as law to the Israelites, in Deuteronomy 5:15 we are given a reason why God so seriously wanted His people to be obedient in this: “remember that you were a slave….and the Lord your God brought you out…”  So to pause and rest is to say, GOD is my provider, and my striving only results in results because of God (Seriously, check out these passages: Deuteronomy 2:7; 1 Chronicles 29:12; Psalms 23 and 147:8; Matthew 6:25-33; Philippians 4:19).

Observationally, we don’t have to look far to understand our need for regenerative rest.  Sleep is one of the greatest things we can “do” for our well being.[7]  Our bodies need one third of our day just to be restored.  ⅓!!  Living to 75 that’s 25 years of our life spent sleeping!  When we try to cheat this, various problems ensue.  And by the way, the U.S. has a tremendous problem with sleep, as well.[8]  It’s hard to even grasp the scope of this due to the myriad ways people attempt to rest that may not be directly researched or studied in any one experiment (sleep aids, watching media, abusing substances- including over-the-counter cough syrup and benadryl).

The Doctor Who episode “Sleep No More” features the attempt to cheat sleep and maximize productivity.  Scientists discover a device (“Morpheus”) that takes only a few minutes to compress a month of sleep.  Serious problems ensue (enter evil “Sandmen” into the equation, for any of you Doctor Who nerds).  Sleep and rest are common themes in literature and life.  No doubt, they play a substantial role in our well-being- or downfall. 

Though therapy is highly efficacious in addressing disorders specifically and often helpful for much personal growth, it is not set up to be a worldview (a personal understanding or philosophy of the world)- it was never meant to be!  Therapy is the clinical application resulting from theories and science on human thought and behavior, just like medical practitioners study from a particular perspective and approach (“Western”, naturopathic, Traditional/Chinese, etc.).  Psychology cannot be an entire worldview, by definition, because it’s only one subset of study, research, observation, and experience.

Back to Jesus: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). 

Are you tired of striving in your own strength?  Jesus speaks to the question of trying to be good enough. The Bible presents a very large pill to swallow that is offensive to our Western, pluralistic and politically correct sensibilities: your striving is empty without God.  BUT, here is the hope, and this is the Gospel: being made right with the God of the universe through Christ, we have peace. We have freedom. We have hope. We have purpose. We are forgiven.  We are loved.

• “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Rom 5:1).
• “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee” (St. Augustine of Hippo).
• “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.  It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep” (Psalm 127:1-2).
• “Cease striving and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10a).

From the poorest and most overlooked member in the slums of Calcutta to the Billionaire on 57th Street in NYC: You are loved. You are valuable. Striving and anxious pursuits are nothing without God- let us seek his rest.

References:
[1] Newman, T. (n.d.). Is anxiety increasing in the United States? Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322877.  “When they compare the levels of depression, no single area has significantly higher rates. When it comes to anxiety disorders, however, it’s a different story; the Americas are head and shoulders above all other regions, including Africa and Europe.”
[2] 

• ​Oren Miron, M. (2019, June 18). Suicide Rates in Adolescents and Young Adults, 2000 to 2017. Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2735809
• Santhanam, L. (2019, October 18). Youth suicide rates are on the rise in the U.S. Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/youth-suicide-rates-are-on-the-rise-in-the-u-s
• https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr68/nvsr68_09-508.pdf
• https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db352-h.pdf

[3] Silver, C. (2020, September 18). The Top 20 Economies in the World. Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.investopedia.com/insights/worlds-top-economies/
[4] This is not to shame you.  You may have a legit challenge with anxiety due to disorder- if so, I’m sorry!  You may have tried seemingly everything to feel better and it just hangs around.  Keep reading, if this is you, because the post still applies, it’s just that I want you to know that you may have it harder than others, and you may need treatment.  Truly, this world is not fair.  But stay with me; there’s hope.
[5] http://www-personal.umich.edu/~daneis/symposium/2012/readings/Twenge2010.pdf
[6] The disorder is significantly more prevalent and impairing in high-income countries than in low- or middle-income countries.
[7] Walker, M. P. (2018). Why we sleep: The new science of sleep and dreams. London, UK: Penguin Books.
[8] CDC - Data and Statistics - Sleep and Sleep Disorders. (2017, May 02). Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/data_statistics.html
All Scripture quotations are ESV.  

Katherine didn’t understand why this pandemic hit her so hard. In fact, she was embarrassed that it did. “I mean, my routines and orderliness can be a little overboard, but I’ve never had difficulty getting by day-to-day. I cry at the drop of a hat and just don't know what to do." I was so honored that she admitted she was struggling, because in that honest vulnerability, she is now getting help.*

In this time of COVID-19, there is a common expectation: the misconception that "healthy" means we won't feel anxious - or the opposite: success is defined by feeling completely safe, confident, or certain. That's crap.
​
Though it’s nice to feel less anxious, it’s not always reality, even if we’re doing all the right things. I mostly work with clients by helping them learn to stay focused on things of value, regardless of how they feel. Overall anxiety reduction is a result of various factors and is rarely immediate. In time, with supportive factors, anxiety often will go down. Jesus himself felt greatly distressed and overwhelmed, at times, too, if you didn’t know. He wept, sweated, pleaded, was scared, bled, and got angry and frustrated. He understands because he can actually relate - physically and emotionally. He gets Katherine's suffering - and yours, too.
Life involves not only facing bad things that don't happen, but also bad things that do. The question is, are you trained and ready? Can you still keep your focus even when the world around you and inside of you seems to be in chaos? Here are some quick tips to help you stay grounded in reality.


1. Be assertive. Routines have changed. We have to communicate to make the covert overt, like telling your loved one if you need a break to recharge (they can't read your mind!).
2. Be careful of untrue thoughts. Unrealistic thought patterns negatively impact our entire life, like All-or-Nothing Thinking. For example, "Since I’ve been eating poorly it doesn't make a difference if I exercise.” Katherine, mentioned earlier, fell into this trap by believing she was doing a terrible job simply because she felt overwhelmed. Mental health is based on grasping reality to the extent we can. Watch your thoughts and line them up with reality as much as possible.
3. Don't over-consume on substances. Caffeine and alcohol are certainly the most popular substances to monitor.
4. Downtime/Mindfulness/Quiet. The importance of giving our brain pauses and rest cannot be overstated. During a crisis, we need more intentionality to slow down unhealthy processes that are automatic or deeply ingrained. Learn to be mindful, slow down the process, and/or meditate on something beneficial- like how much God cares for you and promises to never leave or forsake you. Benefits range from increased focus and function to decreased stress and disease.
5. Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors - Tune In. Be aware of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. God gave you these - learn to pay attention to them and discover how to respond - sometimes in ways you might not expect.
6. Exercise. Exercise is highly connected to mental health. If you’re stuck in the house, there are ways to get creative. Make a game with a fitness tracker! Compete with others! Set up prizes for yourself or children! Get outside where possible and get moving.
7. Get Support. Use trustworthy support. Few things in life (if any) are done well without support. One place to get support is through an online or in-person Live Second Group.
8. Have fun! We all need reminding to pursue fun. Even the term ‘recreation’ is based on the concept 'recreate '- “to give new life.”
9. Medication. Medication can play a necessary role in well-being. You don’t need to feel shame if you can use a physiological boost for your brain health. Consult a health professional if this would be the right option for you.
10. Normal structure. Our brains integrate information we don't need to remember and becomes second nature. So when you change your routine massively, you will feel out of balance. That’s okay! Try to make use of old structures while learning to develop new ones!
11. Nutrition/Diet. Be careful not to overindulge on carbs and sugars - the snacky & sweet food you may feel the urge to “pound,”which can offer quick energy and pleasure, but overconsumption won’t benefit you. In fact, it will impact you negatively.
12. Prayer. Open communication and presence with the God of the universe is what we access through prayer! His power is what I need; it's really good to follow a big God who is over all our circumstances.
13. Prioritize. Limit inputs of information and stimulation or your brain will do its best to force limits and push you back into what’s called “homeostasis” (or balance), which can lead to feeling burnout and depression.
14. Serve others. Loving our neighbor as ourselves is beautiful. Not only does it help them, but we also can find much encouragement and joy. Learning and growth is often solidified when we can teach, pass along, and serve. Win-win.
15. Sleep. As one of the most important contributors to all aspects of health, good sleep is a necessary foundation to good health.
16. Spend/Save/Give money. Work from a budget. Spending money can be satisfying. Giving it away is powerful to others and ourselves. Taking on unnecessary debts, overspending and being miserly or hypervigilant all lead to stress in different ways.
17. Socialize. We are social beings. Direct contact releases neurotransmitters! But so can positive interactions in this time where we can’t touch much. Wow! For the time being, technology, phones, letters, or writing on messages on cardboard goes a long way.
18. Spirituality/Faith. What do you live for? What do you believe? And are you living congruently with it? Are you allowing yourself to ask questions and pursue guidance, support, and practices around what is good and true and beautiful and lovely? To discover more about what it looks like to follow Jesus watch this.
19. Sunlight. Not only is sunlight important in Vitamin D production, natural light is linked with numerous processes ranging from sleep to mood and much more. If you must be indoors or have limitations on natural light, find ways to maximize it.
20. Supplements. There is good evidence that several supplements can aid in mental health; some linked most commonly to mental health are Vitamin D, B Complex, and Omega-3 Fatty Acids (always follow your doctor’s advice).
21. Your context is your context. Don't compare. "Comparison is the thief of joy." When we look at where we are, don't let expectations crowd out what you're supposed to be about.
Keep in mind this is educational content and not intended as a substitute for professional advice, treatment, or diagnosis. Any of these tips will come across as too simple for someone suffering highly.

This video and guide below were specially formulated to help you be mindful in an "Exposure-Friendly" way.

This one's a bit different from the average mindfulness practice you might be familiar with.  The reason it's called "Exposure-Friendly" is that it is specially designed to help a person be mindful of whatever they are experiencing, not just attempting to feel better.  This is a hallmark of exposure therapy: being able to tolerate distress without engaging in pathological responses (rituals, safety behaviors) that negatively reinforce fear.  Distractions and relaxation when facing our fears can backfire (see the research at the end of the Guide).  So if we need a different set of tools to face fear, here's one of them.  I hope it helps.

Blessings,

~Justin

I didn’t think much about it.  Once I began to shift from a trim guy in my young 20’s to borderline overweight/obese by my late 20’s, I was introduced to research on the deleterious effects of consuming so much added sugar in my diet.  But I also gained maybe the most crucial part of any health advice: the support to live it out.

The most significant early clinical and research voice for me was Dr. Mark Hyman, Director, Center for Functional Medicine at the Cleveland Clinic.  I was watching a documentary on Netflix in 2015[2] that featured him significantly.  It added to my already growing knowledge and personal experience, which especially helped me a) stop compartmentalizing nutrition (150 calories from Coke ≠ 150 calories from vegetables) and b) look more closely at what I put in my body.  

Bolstered by personal recovery in multiple areas of my life, and leaning on my wife who was super supportive of me, these convergences facilitated what I hadn’t been able to do prior:

• I almost entirely cut out added sugar from my daily diet at first, and now use sparingly with a limited number of desserts.  
  • I lost 45 pounds in about a year and a half, the first 5-10 pounds was just cutting out sugary sodas.  
  • I slowly cut consumption (small things to begin, like not eating past 10:30 pm at night), and then really worked on eating vegetables.  If I wanted a snack, I’d learn to find vegetables, nuts, and fruits). I found foods I enjoyed that I could eat basically as much as I wanted.
  • I began to look BIG-picture at food with an observant eye- and discovered (shocker!) that even my favorite salads possessed added sugar, and not just in the dressing.  Places like McDonald’s and Chik-fil-A add sugar into different items in their salad toppings and breadings (can anyone say candied pecans?).  Stores like Costco sell a lot of “organic” items, but when I look at the packages and see the ingredients lists on most items, I still find a lot of added sugar, sodium, etc.  
  • I still enjoy dessert!  I just had two slices of cake at my sister-in-law’s wedding!  And I loved it.

One of my discoveries is that existing advice often conflicts, and (as with all things) can be driven by profit, greed, and ambition.  Instead of getting embroiled in all these details, I began to think critically for myself and make a plan with support. Here’s the simplest advice that’s now supported relatively across the board:

Recommendations for Added Sugar:
CDC (U.S.)

• In a 2,000 calorie diet, 50 g of added sugar is the max recommended (10% of total energy intake).

WHO (World Health Organization) Recommendations[3]

• Strongly recommends less than 10% of total energy intake as free sugars, 
• And conditionally less than 5%.

Part of a healthy body, mind, and spirit involves an honest look at what we put in our bodies.  Nutrition is, of course, one of the most important realities of daily life. Much success and suffering comes from our consumption and discipline around food- and in that regard, it’s not much different from other areas of life such as our thoughts and beliefs, exercise, generosity, and work and rest.

I’m nowhere near an expert in the food realm, and this post is more personal in nature.  I hesitated writing it for a while so as not to make another one of those ‘Look at me now!’ posts.  The last thing I want is for anyone reading this to feel shamed by a braggadocious post on self-improvement.  I personally didn’t have a bunch of shame about my weight prior, nor would that have helped. I want to thank my sister-in-law, Camille, for encouraging me that people might benefit from my personal story.  I hope it helps.  

As a therapist, I walk with people every day through CBT and counseling to take action.  Traditional medicine, articles, and diets all serve their purpose.  My job is to help people make change, personalized to them, in the context of reality- that we must all live in, or not- only to our detriment.  

If you take nothing else away from this, here are the keys I want to share:

• You (and others) are inherently valuable.
• Nutrition is a significant part of life that, when it goes well or poorly, affects all other aspects of life.
• Consider introspection over your relationship to things like added sugar that, when over-consumed, creates major problems.  
• Goals are great, but change has to be doable.  Unrealistic expectations are a killer of motivation and long-term success!
• I’m here as a resource if you need me!
• Everyone is different, but all of us have to live by the principles of reality.  The more realistic we are about looking and facing it squarely, the more congruent our lives will be.

Sincerely,

Justin


[1] Added sugar is different than sugar as it naturally occurs, like in fruits and vegetables.  See Harvard Health's post here.
[2] “Fed Up”- not that I endorse everything in it, but there were a couple key lessons that I have incorporated from this documentary.
[3] This whole resource is quite fabulous with lots of good research and narrative.  I nerded out with it!

You’re surrounded by setpoints every day.  They literally keep you alive.  One of them is your set body temperature.  If your body drops or rises a mere 15% beyond your core temperature, death occurs.  Think of a setpoint like a reference point, a sort of boundary.  Medically, it’s called homeostasis.  The body regulates internal functioning (temperature, blood flow, oxygen) despite external circumstances.  The body is always seeking homeostasis.  So is the brain.  And you can intentionally take charge for your mental, emotional, and relational health.

Examples
In our bodies, we break out in a fever when something is wrong- which is one way the body makes conditions unfavorable to viruses and bacteria- because they are temperature sensitive.  In addicts, their brains have faced an onslaught of dopamine rushes- and the brain counters it by producing less dopamine to balance out- even sometimes ELIMINATING dopamine receptors.  This is the brain naturally seeking to turn down a party that’s gotten too loud.

The system
Balanced functioning (homeostasis), whether biological, technological, or psychological, will involve three interdependent elements that help reach homeostasis- all centered on a setpoint:

1. Receptor– A sensing component that observes changes in the environment. The receptor then sends information to the Control Center.
2. Control Center– determines an appropriate response, having a set range in place (setpoint).  Then the control center sends this information to an effector.
3. Effector– Structures that receive signals from the control center and correct deviation by negative feedback, thus putting a system back into its normal range.

Remember from above how dopamine in the brain works with substance abuse?  But we can actually gain the upper hand by being active in our decisions- including making setpoints for ourselves.

Get negative
In order to bring a system back to normal, negative feedback is used to regulate it.  So when I say, “get negative,” or course I’m not telling you to have a negative outlook on life.  What I AM saying is that a system that is out of control will only be put back in control/order by it being regulated by setpoints, carried out by either an internal or external force- and this is negative feedback.
Okay, have I been sufficiently nerdy?  Let’s get practical!!

Sample exercises  
Check out how William uses all three processes of homeostasis as a married entrepreneur with children, who is also dealing with some alcohol abuse (#2 in each is the setpoint).

Entrepreneur-
1) Financial accounts are reconciled daily by William (outside help oversees them weekly).  2) The business plan was developed with a setpoint of no greater than $100,000 debt.  Crossing $50,000 debt signals a problem and requires meeting with the board.  3) If the setpoints are not honored, the board has full power and autonomy to enact established strategies.

Temperature-
1) William’s two year old, Thomas, is running a fever- revealed by his behavior, and then it was gauged with a thermometer.  2)  If 24 hours pass with a fever over 100 F- or at any point it goes beyond 103 F- the setpoint has been crossed.  3) Visit the doctor immediately.

Remodeling-
1) Extra money was left over- discovered in the budget by William’s wife, Katie.  2)  They determine no more than $10,000 will be spent on a kitchen remodel.  The goal is $8,500; beyond the goal is a warning flag.  3) At the $8,500 mark, a conversation will be held with the contractor to hold to the budget.

Alcohol Use-
1) After running into various troubles with alcohol, William considered his personal/family values and health recommendations.  2) A setpoint was made: only 2 drinks or less daily.  3) If this line is crossed, the commitment is to have an entire month sober.  If this cannot be done, it is agreed on with his support team to increase treatment (e.g., go to a group, go to counseling).
​
Got the hang of it?  These steps can be applied to about anything, though I mostly use the Setpoints Exercise (click on the link below to access!) to help increase ownership and boundaries with addictions.  It’s a straightforward way to get honest with anything you are facing, the amount of help you need, and what supports can get you there.  This concept has helped assist many of my clients to face problems squarely, and in turn, to be more successful and realistic in addressing life challenges.  Give it a try!