​Teddy pumped the sanitizer bottle for the second time in three minutes.  “I know, I know, it doesn’t help when I haven’t touched anything else, but I want to be sure.  You never know these days, right?”  Freda waits to enter gatherings and meetings until everyone else has shown up- “It just helps me know I won’t run the risk of embarrassing myself.”  Hassan skips driving over tall bridges.  “Maybe it adds time to my commute, but I once heard of a bridge that collapsed, so you never can be too careful.”  

Clinically, Safety Behaviors (aka “False Safety Behaviors”) are “unnecessary actions taken to prevent, escape from, or reduce the severity of a perceived threat” (APA PsycNet, 2020).  Pursuing safety in a healthy context is valuable and will keep you alive- this is why work sites have a key motto: “Safety First.”  However, notice the word “unnecessary” in the definition of a safety behavior.  

If you feel fatigued, are a procrastinator, overwhelmed, anxious all the time, or just "stressed out," safety behaviors may be at play.  When people start to have problems with my opening examples, they may still think that their behaviors aren't necessary to consider or aren't harmful in any way.   I know!  It's really tricky to differentiate at times, especially when many things we do, depending on context,  can be helpful OR harmful.  But imagine if there's 1,000 little examples in a day of double-checking, reassurance seeking, second-guessing- every extra second spent, movement taken, or second-guess made leads to extra stress, processing, and/or energy.  When a person has a disorder like Generalized Anxiety, PTSD, Specific Phobia, Social Anxiety, and more (in OCD call them by a different term: compulsions), safety behaviors must be addressed for robust recovery. 

We can categorize safety behaviors into several different types.  

• Checking
  • Physical items (stove, locks)
  • Internal sensations (heart, breathing, health)
  • Emotions (Did I feel like I expected to? Should I feel this way?)
  • Tasks (Homework, work emails, social media posts)
• Reassurance
  • Asking questions when you know the answer
  • Needing repetitive validation relationally
  • Checking with teacher/boss/clergy repeatedly
• Mental Rituals/Maneuvers
  • Distraction
  • Mental Review
  • Counting, Praying, Superstitious rituals
  • Rumination
• Safety Aids
  • Rescue medications
  • Only going somewhere with another person
  • Extra water, food
• Avoidance
  • Activities (trying something new, foods, news, tv shows, songs)
  • Bodily sensations (increased heart/breathing rate, exercise)
  • Emotions (anger, sadness, fear)
  • Memories (unpleasant, challenging)
  • Thoughts (intrusive, unwanted)
  • Places (being alone, crowded places, negative past experiences)

Any of the above might be healthy for any one person.  It must be functionally assessed (what is the function of a behavior or thought?) to determine if it’s helpful or pathological (disordered).  Using sanitizer after touching doors in a pandemic looks different than outside the pandemic.  Checking in on your Amazon order status with an important order may help you plan your day.  Having a baby monitor you look at for fun or in case of emergency can offer flexibility and safety.  But for every positive example of these, there's an example that feeds fear: compulsive sanitizer use, online checking, or obsessive fear about a baby's health.  You have the opportunity to evaluate your own head and heart (and may I suggest having some help with friends in the know, a therapist, a mentor).

Let's take Social Anxiety Disorder.  Jenny learned to "cope" with her social fears starting in adolescence by just saying she was shy when around people. She would avoid gatherings where she had to interact with people she didn't know well, get her family to talk for her, and always carried her phone  in case she needed to put in ear buds and look down. When she got to college she began to realize that events and activities she wanted to do felt really difficult. Making friends was a substantial challenge and led to shame and anger at herself and others.  She couldn't place her finger on it, but felt embarrassed when talking with others and would often feel hot, her face became flush, and she would slip on her words.  Her answer was to avoid and go back to her dorm to listen to music, quickly feeling better.  She would later replay interactions in her mind and would run multiple mental scenarios before any social interaction. Jenny didn't realize that these were avoidance, distraction, and mental rumination/checking.  They are safety behaviors, and they made her anxiety worse- much worse.

In therapy, your history will be gathered and rapport ideally built with your counselor. People who come to see me are so often relieved they're not alone, crazy, weird, or bad for struggling.   How treatment goes depends on the person and their condition being treated, but transdiagnostically, when safety behaviors impair or limit a person, well want to do three key things:

1. Get educated on the process.  
2. Identify all safety behaviors.
3. Begin to strategically, often hierarchically (based on what you can tolerate at the moment), remove safety behaviors and engage in meaningful, valued and healthy actions and thought processes. 

Here's a personal example of how I've integrated this CBT work into my own life.  I have the actual ability to speak and teach in public, write articles, and provide quality therapy.  At any given time, I have had/do have various triggers to fear.  For example, I gave a talk that was highly rated by all attendees (5 stars by 95%).  One person literally stood up and started openly disagreeing during the talk over one quote (from an evidence based source) I had shared. I still don't know what the problem was, because it was ultimately inconsequential to the big picture, but something apparently 'hit a nerve.'  Though I was still friendly with the person came redirected to talk afterwards (they didn't take me up on the offer), I unfortunately let this impact me for a bit, avoiding talks for about 9 months after, ruminating on what I did wrong and could have done better, and scanning groups of people in case my "heckler" was ever there again. I was living in fear and giving into safety behaviors. 

I had always expected my nerves would calm down a bit after giving talks for 5-10 years. But unfortunately, I hadn't yet integrated CBT work in safety behaviors into my life, and so my stress remained stagnant, though I did engage in my goals (which involves public speaking). At the almost 15 year mark of giving talks, I now work on cutting out rumination at times I don't need to be thinking (going to bed, in the bathroom before a presentation, etc.), saying yes to any talk that's within my goals and expertise, and so forth. And the result is striking. My most recent presentation I gave had me observing to my wife, "Hey babe, this is really cool- I had a couple hours this morning where I didn't even think about it!" Nor was I very stressed.  This takes time and growth. 

You don't require a clinical diagnosis to grasp the value and benefit of catching and releasing safety behaviors. In fact, there's so much potential for the tools that almost anyone can benefit from them, whether you want to learn to work quicker, be more gentle with yourself, increase your processing speed and/or general "bandwidth" of stress tolerance. 

In Conclusion.  So in our world (especially the Western world) where safety is everything, go ahead and take a pause and evaluate some of your thoughts and behaviors. Ask for feedback from someone you respect (or find someone who can speak honestly to you). Do you have any limits in any sphere of life from checking, reassurance, safety aids, avoidance, or mental maneuvers?  Do people say you're "tightly wound," perfectionistic, demanding, or unrealistic?  Are you overly cautious?  Are most people around you doing things you'd like to do but just can't?  Go find the ways you "play it safe" but don't need to, and your life will be better for it. 


​

References:
APA PsycNet. (n.d.). Retrieved November 10, 2020, from https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2019-52029-002
Foa, E. B., & Kozak, M. J. (1986). Emotional processing of fear: exposure to corrective information. Psychological Bulletin, 99, 20–35.
Blakey, S. M., Abramowitz, J. S., Buchholz, J. L., Jessup, S. C., Jacoby, R. J., Reuman, L., & Pentel, K. Z. (2019). A randomized controlled trial of the judicious use of safety behaviors during exposure therapy. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 112, 28-35. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2018.11.010
Behaviour Research and Therapy, 112, 28-35. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2018.11.010
Korte, K. J., Norr, A. M., & Schmidt, N. B. (2018). Targeting Safety Behaviors in the Treatment of Anxiety Disorders: A Case Study of False Safety Behavior Elimination Treatment. American Journal of Psychotherapy, 71(1), 9-20. doi:10.1176/appi.psychotherapy.20180001

Riccardi, C. J., Korte, K. J., & Schmidt, N. B. (2017). False safety behavior elimination therapy: A randomized study of a brief individual transdiagnostic treatment for anxiety disorders. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 46, 35–45.

Salkovskis, P. M., Clark, D. M., Hackmann, A., Wells, A., & Gelder, M. G. (1999). An experimental investigation of the role of safety-seeking behaviors in the maintenance of panic disorder with agoraphobia. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 37, 559–574.
Schmidt, N. B., Buckner, J. D., Pusser, A., Woolaway-Bickel, K., & Preston, J. L. (2012). Randomized control trial of False Safety Behavior Elimination Therapy (F-SET): A unified cognitive behavioral treatment for anxiety psychopathology. Behavior Therapy, 43, 518–532.

Telch, M. J., PhD. (n.d.). False Safety Behaviors: Their Role in Pathological Fear. Retrieved November 10, 2020, from https://labs.la.utexas.edu/telch/files/2015/08/Safety-Behavior-Handout-latest-8.1.15-1.pdf

Wells, A., Clark, D. M., Salkovskis, P., Ludgate, J., Hackmann, A., & Gelder, M. (1995). Social phobia: the role of in-situation safety behaviors in maintaining anxiety and negative beliefs. Behavior Therapy, 26, 153–161.

​

I recorded a full length episode for the OCD Stories with Stuart Ralph, based in London, this summer.  He just dropped the final version.  You can listen FREE on all streaming platforms.  

One of my goals was to speak in a way where most people could connect or find something beneficial in this podcast.  I hope you enjoy!

​~Justin

How much do you charge? 
This is a very loaded question, indeed.  I’m going to give you straight answers to how much therapy actually costs, and why.  If you are a consumer of health services, you’ve likely asked it many times between doctors, dentists, and insurance plans.  Therapy is no different, yet it is unique in many ways.  Knowing your role in securing treatment and its cost can help you achieve a win-win.

Why are you writing this?
More than a therapist, I am an advocate.  This post has been a long time coming, and clinicians rarely talk about money on a personal level.  When there’s a good reason to do so, it’s an opportunity for growth.  This post is intended to help:

1. Consumers of mental health services make the best decisions for themselves with fuller knowledge of what they’re getting.
2. Professionals (colleagues and students) to understand the dynamics that exist to create a win-win.
3. Advocates of mental health who fiercely support their neighbor’s mental health and need tools to communicate and steer people to the best option that exists for their current circumstances.

Business theory.
When a good or service is offered, utility and/or providing for a human need or want occurs.  In fact, this is why the term “goods and services” uses the word, ‘goods.’[1]  In less than ideal circumstances, either the service is not provided (or provided poorly), or the exchange is NET negative (i.e., the provider loses money or the consumer can’t afford a service important to them).  
IDEAL: Good Service Provided <--> suitable exchange (money) = both parties win

How much is an average therapy session?  
Here are common rate structures:

• Free (through no copay insurance- highly uncommon- plans or state-run and non-profit services)
• ~$20-75+ for practicum/interns (little training or early in their training, but way more advanced than talking to your friend who “took some psychology classes”).
• ~$50 - $125 for a non-specialized therapist and/or online only therapy
• ~$150-250 per hour in urban areas and/or for specialists
• $300-600+ for clinicians who are truly at the top of their fields (think of hiring a celebrity to do a commercial vs. someone unknown from a talent agency)  [2]

What is a realistic win-win?
We live in the real world.  And while we can seek to change things we can change (see below under the “Systems that be” section), acceptance of what we can’t is a crucial part of mental health.  Work within the reality you exist.  

• Free therapy usually means it has been massively subsidized (or you are paying for it in another way, like insurance or a benefactor).  
  • However, to keep overhead low and have a NET profit to stay in business, they may not possess one or more of the following:
    • Expert level status (10+ concurrent years treating a specific condition)
    • Specialization (more than 50% of cases)
    • Additional amenities:
      • Great location
      • Easy access (right off main roads or highways, downtown, etc.)
      • Telehealth or other options, like home visits
      • A snack bar, great coffee, ambiance
• Interns and Practicum Students for $20-25 per hour can be wonderful for those with little financial wherewithal and/or if you need a listening ear with only some training- but be realistic in expectations.
• Online therapy is a great option that is often affordable and accessible, even possibly accepting your insurance.  Limits are a lack of the in-person experience or in-person exposure therapy with objects or places.  
• Generalists may be more likely to accept insurance or only charge rates in the range of insurance reimbursement.  However, the same limits apply as to the first bullet point.  
• Specialists are great if you have a very specific problem you need to address very specifically (like OCD, PTSD, Schizophrenia, etc.).  If you can afford them, it’s not a bad place to start, and if they’re being honest they can tell you how you can achieve results- even if it doesn’t include them.
• Famous clinicians are so cool!  If you can afford it and want to, go for it!  The Gottmans, Edna Foa, Sue Johnson, Steven Pinker, Daniel Kahneman, Reid Wilson.  

There will always be exceptions to the rule, and the above is no different. For example, some people offer excellent services through charity, passion for helping, faith, or other reasons.  Of course, this doesn't mean that anything is free- these services are simply subsidized through that person and often additional income streams like books and speaking fees.  A great example in Dallas would be the experts Drs. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.  They offer free community-based marriage building seminars and trainings (Safe Conversations).  Dr. Reid Wilson offers a free 2 day intensive every year at the Annual Conference of the International OCD Foundation   Many churches and places of worship do the same.  

How much clinicians make.
Income ranges wildly, from those famous clinicians to practice owners to social workers to private practice and more.  I don’t know anyone who’s getting rich off of therapy.  Most of us got into counseling/therapy as a helping profession in the first place.  I told my wife when we were dating I would very likely make less than her as a nurse at a prominent Dallas hospital, and I wanted to make sure she was okay with that.  Let’s just say she didn’t dump me.  :)  The median Master’s Level counselor in the U.S. makes about $50-75k per year.[3]  Besides gross income, clinicians have a lot of other factors that take off the top:

• Overhead/Expenses 
  • Office Rent is usually the largest single expense for most clinicians.  Most folks I know will pay somewhere in the vicinity of $500-3000 per month just for their office space.
  • Telehealth, Electronic Health Records, Marketing efforts, and more add to the expense.
• Degree/Licensure
  • Master’s degrees require college plus 2-3 years full time along with an internship usually an additional 2 years beyond this.
  • Psychologists (doctoral level) have an additional 3-5 years with school and practicum/internship above a master’s degree.
• Ongoing training
  • Base level continuing education is usually around 12-15 hours per year.  Those with certifications or other training (EMDR, CSAT) have their own separate upkeep.
  • Expert Clinicians are generally speaking/writing/training at conferences (1-3 per year for many), which is more time and cost.  Travel costs wrack up easily, and for those heavily invested in being at conferences, it can easily add $5-10,000+ per year in travel expenses and associated costs- all to stay up to date and invested.
• Self-Employment Tax, which Depending on income bracket, is much higher than when an employer covers a chunk of taxes.  Take about 20-35% off the adjusted gross income for total taxes in a year.
• Health insurance.  This may be the biggest expense of all for clinicians if they have to purchase their own health insurance, which can cost around $3,500-12,000 per year- just to have the insurance.
• Limited codes to bill.  Therapists have only a few billing codes they can submit to insurance; many only use one code based on the hour of therapy (90837).  Insurance is not typically known to give raises.  
  • Doctors have, as of this date, literally 70,000 codes to bill!  [Some of my favorites: Y93.D: Activities involved arts and handcrafts and W55.41XA: Bitten by pig, initial encounter, W61.62XD: Struck by duck, subsequent encounter.]
• Cost of living (L.A. and New York and Chicago will see many non-specialized therapists charging $200 or more per hour).
• Number of clients- what is feasible depends greatly, but most clinicians I talk to can see about 15-30 clients per week before they start burning out.  For every client hour, many clinicians have to spend at least an hour for administration, marketing, training, etc., that they don’t get paid for.

I’ll let you do the math.  

So yes, I get it.  Therapy can be expensive.  If my clients say “this is expensive,” I agree.  “Yes, it is.  You are making a sacrifice.  Thank you so much for your prioritization in being here.  My goal is to help you reach your goals and get you on your way as soon as is reasonably possible (unless you want to stay around longer).”

I hope this post is helpful in helping you make a decision or in supporting others considering decisions for therapy in our current world.  Remember the old truism: “you get what you pay for.”  Or maybe what somebody else pays for.


References:
[1]  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goods
[2] How do I come by those figures?  They’re rarely published, but it is my personal experience and through research and conversations behind the scenes. This makes it subjective, but I hope it helps.
[3]https://www.salary.com/research/salary/posting/counselor-salary, https://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Licensed_Professional_Counselor/Salary



​

I see a common phrase that goes around: “Feelings are not facts.”  While I agree with the inherent sentiments, it’s wrong.  Feelings are facts.  Your interpretation of feelings may not be factual.  

Actual feelings are factual insomuch as they reflect disparate and connected processes within the body and mind, occurring in real time.  They give you information.  Sensations and emotions link us in to a wealth of details.  Researchers have long struggled to pinpoint feelings exactly (this is one of the reasons why there are no definitive feelings charts/references and why therapists will list anywhere from 3 basic emotions and as many as 100 or more), and though neuroscience is helping us understand more what occurs biologically in the brain, the conclusion is far from definitive.  

Making this separation that feelings are facts may seem a bit pedantic- splitting hairs.  My first supervisor I ever had in my internship would tell me something along the lines of this: “Separating feelings from thoughts is foundational for emotional intelligence.”  Agreed.  And it’s just plain healthy.  CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) helps us get really good at being honest with the interaction between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  Problems with anxiety, depression, dissociation, psychosis, narcissism, and all of mental health at some level deals with how much a person is living in reality.  None of us are 100% or will be perfect at it.  However, we can grow.  Do our thoughts line up with the bigger picture?  Are thoughts and emotions congruent?  Do behaviors fit what we believe?  If I feel chest tightness, racing heart, or my stomach drop when I’m around another person, the conclusion is not necessarily that that person is bad or I need to get away.  Yes, sometimes that is the case.  I have also had these feelings around people I trust implicitly.  There are a number of factors that can lead to feelings- amount of sleep I got last night, hunger, and stress in general, to name a small few.

So when people say feelings are not facts, I understand what they’re saying and support the gist.  I think your mental health will thank you, though, if you appreciate that your body and brain is created to give you information- and that information is factual insomuch as it exists and is connected to you.  How you interpret the meaning may not be factual.  If you separate these two, you will better honor what your body and mind are telling you, while, if you pursue growth, you can learn to line up your life more congruently for your mental health and the wellbeing of those around you.  ​

America today sees one of the highest levels of anxiety of any place in the world.[1] We are clamoring for attention online, wanting to be seen, to be loved.  Suicides by teens and young adults appear to be higher than they’ve been in years.[2]  We are the wealthiest nation on the face of the planet,[3] and we can’t rest.  We have more than anyone else (as a whole), and we can’t stop.  Children who are now becoming adults are feeling this crushing weight of anxiety and expectation (whether on themselves or from outside)- ‘get the degree and the top job, get married, have the house, have children, don’t screw it up.’   And we know that anxiety has biological and genetic influences, but these are not 100% causal by any means.  Our response makes a difference.[4]

• “Like most individual characteristics, psychopathologic symptoms are determined by many factors. The individual family environment is a relatively weak predictor of neuroticism and other personality traits, with genetics explaining much more of the variance…. There are also strong cultural influences on psychiatric symptoms — that is, an environmental influence outside of the individual family. Over time, American culture has increasingly shifted toward an environment in which more and more young people experience poor mental health and psychopathology, possibly due to an increased focus on money, appearance, and status rather than on community and close relationships” (emphasis mine).[6]

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (or GAD, the disorder most connected to general worries) is more impairing in higher income countries.[6]  The occurrence of GAD (lifetime prevalence) boiled down to:

• Countries with the following incomes:
• Low:        1.6%
• Middle:        2.8%
• High [U.S.]:    5.0% 

This is different from OCD, for instance, which sees about a 1-2% worldwide occurrence and doesn’t seem to vary a whole lot from country to country.  Depression seems to occur fairly consistently across the world, as well.  

I think the ultimate answer lies in Christ.  Hebrews 4:9 says, “...there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God.”  Matthew 11:30: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  

*Insert deep relaxing breath.
  
God ordained rest from the beginning of creation.  Genesis 2:2-3: says, “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.”  God purposed rest for us, his creation.  God wasn’t winded and saying, “Oh boy, that creating sure made me tired...let me sit back and take it easy.”  We know he created it for us.  Jesus states, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27).  If we back up to the institution of the Sabbath given as law to the Israelites, in Deuteronomy 5:15 we are given a reason why God so seriously wanted His people to be obedient in this: “remember that you were a slave….and the Lord your God brought you out…”  So to pause and rest is to say, GOD is my provider, and my striving only results in results because of God (Seriously, check out these passages: Deuteronomy 2:7; 1 Chronicles 29:12; Psalms 23 and 147:8; Matthew 6:25-33; Philippians 4:19).

Observationally, we don’t have to look far to understand our need for regenerative rest.  Sleep is one of the greatest things we can “do” for our well being.[7]  Our bodies need one third of our day just to be restored.  ⅓!!  Living to 75 that’s 25 years of our life spent sleeping!  When we try to cheat this, various problems ensue.  And by the way, the U.S. has a tremendous problem with sleep, as well.[8]  It’s hard to even grasp the scope of this due to the myriad ways people attempt to rest that may not be directly researched or studied in any one experiment (sleep aids, watching media, abusing substances- including over-the-counter cough syrup and benadryl).

The Doctor Who episode “Sleep No More” features the attempt to cheat sleep and maximize productivity.  Scientists discover a device (“Morpheus”) that takes only a few minutes to compress a month of sleep.  Serious problems ensue (enter evil “Sandmen” into the equation, for any of you Doctor Who nerds).  Sleep and rest are common themes in literature and life.  No doubt, they play a substantial role in our well-being- or downfall. 

Though therapy is highly efficacious in addressing disorders specifically and often helpful for much personal growth, it is not set up to be a worldview (a personal understanding or philosophy of the world)- it was never meant to be!  Therapy is the clinical application resulting from theories and science on human thought and behavior, just like medical practitioners study from a particular perspective and approach (“Western”, naturopathic, Traditional/Chinese, etc.).  Psychology cannot be an entire worldview, by definition, because it’s only one subset of study, research, observation, and experience.

Back to Jesus: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). 

Are you tired of striving in your own strength?  Jesus speaks to the question of trying to be good enough. The Bible presents a very large pill to swallow that is offensive to our Western, pluralistic and politically correct sensibilities: your striving is empty without God.  BUT, here is the hope, and this is the Gospel: being made right with the God of the universe through Christ, we have peace. We have freedom. We have hope. We have purpose. We are forgiven.  We are loved.

• “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Rom 5:1).
• “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee” (St. Augustine of Hippo).
• “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.  It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep” (Psalm 127:1-2).
• “Cease striving and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10a).

From the poorest and most overlooked member in the slums of Calcutta to the Billionaire on 57th Street in NYC: You are loved. You are valuable. Striving and anxious pursuits are nothing without God- let us seek his rest.

References:
[1] Newman, T. (n.d.). Is anxiety increasing in the United States? Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322877.  “When they compare the levels of depression, no single area has significantly higher rates. When it comes to anxiety disorders, however, it’s a different story; the Americas are head and shoulders above all other regions, including Africa and Europe.”
[2] 

• ​Oren Miron, M. (2019, June 18). Suicide Rates in Adolescents and Young Adults, 2000 to 2017. Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2735809
• Santhanam, L. (2019, October 18). Youth suicide rates are on the rise in the U.S. Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/youth-suicide-rates-are-on-the-rise-in-the-u-s
• https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr68/nvsr68_09-508.pdf
• https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db352-h.pdf

[3] Silver, C. (2020, September 18). The Top 20 Economies in the World. Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.investopedia.com/insights/worlds-top-economies/
[4] This is not to shame you.  You may have a legit challenge with anxiety due to disorder- if so, I’m sorry!  You may have tried seemingly everything to feel better and it just hangs around.  Keep reading, if this is you, because the post still applies, it’s just that I want you to know that you may have it harder than others, and you may need treatment.  Truly, this world is not fair.  But stay with me; there’s hope.
[5] http://www-personal.umich.edu/~daneis/symposium/2012/readings/Twenge2010.pdf
[6] The disorder is significantly more prevalent and impairing in high-income countries than in low- or middle-income countries.
[7] Walker, M. P. (2018). Why we sleep: The new science of sleep and dreams. London, UK: Penguin Books.
[8] CDC - Data and Statistics - Sleep and Sleep Disorders. (2017, May 02). Retrieved October 07, 2020, from https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/data_statistics.html
All Scripture quotations are ESV.  

“You want me to do what?!”  Many of my clients, and particularly for the sake of this article, Christian clients, are a bit surprised when I ask them to practice exposure.  Repeating scary, terrible thoughts on paper or aloud.  Doing things that feel risky.  It seems as a clinician I’m disrespecting your beliefs and don’t really get it.  Maybe I’m asking you to do something unbiblical, blasphemous, against what God would want.  But what if I do understand and am helping you live in line with your beliefs?  What if exposure is a powerful tool under God’s grace (Matthew 5:45) to help you get over a disorder?

The Great Hesitation.  When some clients start their treatment with me, I come across familiar hesitations when we begin discussing Exposure Therapy and facing one’s fears:

• What if I really am at risk of doing this thing I fear?  Won’t exposure make it worse?
• Are you asking me to do something that could go counter to my faith?
• Don’t I need to avoid this thing rather than giving it more credit?
• Isn’t this a spiritual problem?  Shouldn’t I pray more about this?
• Isn’t this Satan telling me lies?  
• If I have “bad thoughts” (thoughts of harming someone, making someone or myself sick, perverted sexual thoughts), shouldn’t I be on guard?  Flee temptation?  

Maybe.  I of course do not know your (the reader’s) story, so I cannot say for you personally.  Though, here’s the problem many of my clients run into: they are reinforcing fear every time they avoid and run from thoughts/urges/impulses/feelings that are out of fear rather than a want (see an important article on this for more: FACE fear, FLEE Temptation).  Some basic science is in order here: when you fight and resist a thought, it persists (e.g., don’t think of the pink elephant, trying to get a song out of your head, etc.).  That’s the way it’s supposed to work- a threat believed to be a threat is supposed to feel like a threat.

This is where exposure therapy comes in.  As a summary, exposure is the systematic and intentional triggering of fear while minimizing- and ideally eliminating- all pathological responses.  In the therapy process, when I start to introduce clients to the idea of sitting with fear mindfully and not fighting it, most have hesitations.  “You’re telling me to do what?!  You want me to repeat these horrific thoughts again and again?!”  I get it; it seems paradoxical.  Most people can rather quickly wrap their heads around an exposure to an overt situational fear (like holding a kitchen knife when you have an intrusive harm fear) but have a harder time understanding exposure for other “Pure O” intrusions, such as harm and scrupulosity, like the following:

• “I’ll be responsible for my child’s death.”
• “I’ve picked the wrong person to be with.”
• “Maybe that bump I heard in my car was a person.  Should I check to see if they’re okay?”
• “Was I just attracted to a dog?  Did I just get turned on?”
• “I must not believe in God because I feel numb when I say His name.”
• “What if I just get up and run into oncoming traffic?”

The above are examples of intrusive thoughts; they are counter to what a person holds as their overall value and pursuit, or “ego-dystonic.”  If you want to know all about treating these thoughts through imaginal exposure, check out the article “Flip the Script- A Guide to Imaginal Exposure.”  And yes, I’ll tell you right now that if a person obsesses on the above or has ritualistic behaviors and avoidances, we are going to work with leaning into the discomfort of these, not ignoring them.  


The clinical rationale.  In all disorders featuring anxiety and fear, there is a problem with the system that signals something is wrong.  It’s broken.  Doesn’t work right.  It’s a fire alarm that goes off when there’s no fire.  A missile alert with no missile.  Depending on fear, a person might feel a range of things: fear, disgust, anger, sadness, loneliness, dread, regret, chest tightness, racing heart, sweaty palms, neck and back tension, and extensively more.  We tend to feel the feelings that a signal dictates.  For example:

• If you have ever thought someone nefarious was following you, you might have felt fear, suspicion, anger.  
• If a child cries after something you say, you might would feel sadness, regret, or shame.  
• When you say something socially that is a ‘miss,’ you might think you’ve totally embarrassed yourself.

When is a time you felt something strongly that turned out to be fine?  

In disordered behavior, people become over-focused (or under) on a narrow set of experiences.  People who are overly vigilant can run into some of the very problems they seek to avoid, or a different set of problems.  Examples: 

• If you repeatedly fear you might say something wrong and avoid talking in social settings, in time others may actually start to avoid you or stop talking to you altogether since they can’t have a conversation with someone who won’t engage them!  
• Overwashing and cleaning the body leads to less resistance to germs, increased cuts and open skin with greater risks of various health problems.  
• Spiritually, a person who compulsively prays that they will be kept safe will be over-focused on small details (saying a certain thing a certain way, fearfully repeating the same thing, or maybe focused on only a narrow scope of safety like driving, contamination, or health).  This will lead to loss of seeing the bigger picture.  

The Biblical rationale.
If we are to change the outcomes for people who suffer from disorders, psychology has developed some very solid tools.  If you believe, like I do, that the Bible is God’s Word and is meant to have authority in your life, then you’ll likely need a good biblical rationale for exposure therapy.  Here goes on my end, but I am going to ask you personally to dig in.  This is your decision.  Don’t rely on some therapist to tell you what to think- talk to God, pray, use the brain He’s given and be open to the teaching of trustworthy others (2 Timothy 4:2).

Truth is very important in the Christian faith (John 17:17; Psalm 145:18; Proverbs 12:22; John 4:24; 1 Corinthians 13:4-6).  If part of being the church of Christ is to speak the truth to one another, including difficult things like anger (Ephesians 4:15, 26), I remind clients often that if you have intrusive, obsessive, or otherwise bothersome thought or feeling, being open about them and calling them out is simply being honest.  It’s being truthful.  God knows what’s going on in your head (1 John 3:20)!

When Philippians 4:8 is brought up, it is sometimes a “proof text” on how you “should always thinking positive.”  That’s a remarkably short-sighted, superficial view.  
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”  
This clearly can’t mean to not think about negative things, evil, or something terrible.  If so, we’d never be able to ask forgiveness of our sins by calling them out and repenting!  One of the ways that we can think on things like justice, honor, love, etc. is by calling out the opposite: injustice, dishonor, and selfishness.  It is in acknowledgement of problems that the solution can be instilled.  

God knows our hearts (Proverbs 21:2; 1 Samuel 16:7; Jeremiah 17:10; Acts 15:8; Romans 8:27).  If you’re afraid you might do something bad, do you believe God knows that?  And if you’re going to do something bad and be unrepentant, then you aren’t going to repent, right?  And if that’s the case, why are you trying?  If you’re doomed, what’s the point in trying to change that?  If there’s a chance- even if you don’t feel like it in the moment- just a small chance that you can take to God your innermost thoughts and feelings and get love and grace and forgiveness and peace and patience, is it worth it to you?  Would you be willing to try?  

Walking with God means we are “...casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).  Nowhere in the Bible does it say you will not feel anxiety or struggle with anxiety.  It tells us how to frame it (1 Peter 5:7; Philippians 4:6-8), that fear is not God’s heart for us (1 John 4:19), and that he loves us in it (each of these references prior reflects God’s gentle, patient love).  The Bible is not a psychology textbook or methods and techniques class.  While we walk with Christ, we learn to depend on God by faith.  Sometimes that’s therapy, medication, prayer, community, repentance, exercise, gratitude, acceptance, rest, or any number of things.  

Obviously, we are not going to find a passage that says, “do exposure therapy”  (and of course, “pay good money for it”, ha!).  

Compassion and Understanding to You
When clients come to me with thoughts and behaviors they are bothered by, the last thing they want to do is to look it squarely in the face or write it down or say it aloud (It’s called exposure for a reason).  But in reality, this is what helps shine the light on it- calling it out in truth.  It calls it to the table to do business.  In the end, you must personally seek the Lord, and I hope through prayer, His Word, and community to determine what steps you will take in anything important in life.  I do hope that if you can benefit from something like Exposure Therapy, you will find, as I have, that it is a tool, albeit human and imperfect, that God has graciously allowed us to discover, maybe like penicillin, insulin, the benefits of exercise, or Vitamin D..  May the created point back to The Creator and show His goodness and love.  

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:11, ESV).  

“For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45 b, ESV).

“...He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7b).

 

“You need to pray about that.”  “Resist those thoughts; they are from the enemy.”  “Don’t think on such things.”   I often hear confusion from Christians on how to engage- or not engage- with fear based thoughts, urges, and sensations.  This led me to do a deep dive into Scripture to see if there are any differences between responding to fear vs. temptation.  Spoiler Alert: there are.  We must learn to face fear and flee temptation.

Joy* came in to see me because she was getting overwhelmed- having panic attacks and getting stuck in making decisions.  Most of all, she was terrified of the doubt that she wasn’t walking with God.  These are weighty things to carry.  Joy is an incredible woman of faith.  Loved ones agreed (though she’d never tell you this).  Due to her obsessions and intrusive thoughts, she couldn’t stop compulsively asking God for forgiveness when feeling like she’d sinned, constantly evaluating things as small as the way she walked and the facial expressions she carried when around others.  She would often have thoughts that went counter to what she believed: “Maybe your anger is just the same as wanting to kill someone.”  “You’re not close to God- you don’t feel His presence.”  “Are you sure you are living your life fully for Him?” “Your attraction to other men is lustful- you’re supposed to feel pleasure seeing your husband.”  These thoughts and their consequent feelings led to a lot of avoidance- dodging men, running from ‘scary’ Scripture passages, avoiding going out in public.

It is impossible to read very far in the Bible without coming across some variation of “fear not!”  It is the most common directive in the Bible- occurring more than any of the following “do nots:” 

• Stealing
• Adultery
• Theft
• Lying
• Injustice
• Violence 
• Sexual Immorality

You can check out my entire article, “Fear Not” to go deeper into this topic.  I could even venture to say that my whole career is dedicated to how we respond to fear.  First, here's a personal back story.

Growing up, I was involved in a Christian subculture that took an oft avoidant stance to things perceived as risky.  I remember some varying examples from different people through the years: some condemning rock music and drums, dating, kissing before marriage, alcohol in any way, dancing, mental health medications, and playing cards.  Of course, each Christian must develop their conscience and walk with Christ, so I am not here to make decisions for you on any of these topics.  There are a lot of decisions in a lifetime that will necessitate flexibility and exhibit differences between believers- they are not all black and white (cf. Romans 14, Galatians 5), though some are.  To understand why these often well meaning folks said what they said would require knowing the context.  I know many times I have heard believers condemn alcohol for anyone it is out of themselves or loved ones having problems with alcohol- which would be one of the best reasons not to drink!  However, we must be careful not to make a rule or law of conscience generalized to everyone that is not specifically laid out for all believers (check out TGC’s article on conscience).  Unfortunately, I heard plenty of cautions from people rife with fear.

For Christians, hypervigilance as to spiritual matters is out of place.  Vigilance is called for in the things we must be alert about.  Hypervigilance is being on edge, fearful, shaky.  Before Christ was crucified he prayed that his followers would be protected, but still present in the world (John 17:15).  Healthy and spiritually mature individuals have developed discernment of separating good from evil while being present in the world (Hebrews 5:14)- part of growth requires learning how much focus and time to prioritize on any one thing.
Stick with me closely here: this is where I want to delineate between fear and temptation.  I believe it’s a crucial difference- one that has led to a lot of personal growth and change along with that of many clients.  

Let’s first view some key texts on temptation:

1. “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions [literally “pleasures”] are at war within you?” (James 4:1).
2. “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
3. The temptation of Jesus (Matthew 4; Mark 1; Luke 4)  found him in a desperate state physiologically while Satan endeavored to tempt him.  Jesus’ powerful responses involved quoting Scripture back to Satan (interestingly, Satan was also quoting Scripture, quite literally).  
4. The famous “Take up the whole armor of God” passage (Ephesians 6:11-18) leaves us with some key phrases: “keep alert” and “we do not wrestle against flesh and blood.”
5. Give no opportunity to the Devil (Ephesians 4:27).
6. Avoid the craftiness of someone who tries to pull you into cheating on your spouse (Proverbs 7).
7. “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Mark 14:38).
8. The righteous “shuts his eyes from looking on evil” (Isaiah 33:15).

With a misappraised lens we might think God would have us constantly eschewing evil, always looking over our backs for sin crouching to get us (Genesis 4:7).  Nope.  Context is key.  There’s a bigger picture.  

Both in Bible reading and In CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) a key thing we do is to look at context- understanding one thing through the larger picture (i.e., for Bible reading, observing before interpreting; in CBT, we assess the larger connection between feelings, thoughts, and behaviors).  Here is the broader backdrop for all the above Scripture passages:

1. Doesn’t James 4:1 state all our problems are due to our selfish passions (“You desire and do not have, so you murder.”)?  No and Yes.  Some of our problems are.  Back up to the first chapter of James in verse 14: “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.”  So in 4:7 when it says, “Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you”, it is in this broader context of problematic desires (e.g., don’t steal a new iPhone because you “have to have it”- but you probably don’t have to be constantly aware of not stealing an iPhone if that is not a temptation for you).  The reality is that each person will be pulled by certain desires they have (1:14).  We don’t have to resist desires we don’t have, or resist things that are not desires.  If you’re not an alcoholic and are okay with serving alcohol at the restaurant you are employed at, does this need to be a problem (Romans 14)?   Last point I’ll make here- to resist the Devil means that you are resisting the Devil, not some intrusive thought about the Devil or something that you may associate as the Devil (e.g., the number 13, having a bad day somehow means that the Devil was ‘all up in your business’).  
2. Fleeing sexual immorality requires the person who feels the pull/urge to out-of-bounds pleasure to acknowledge that and respond appropriately.  For example, some people never have urges to cheat on their spouse with a coworker.  Therefore, they may not have to shift their attention to being on guard against that temptation, unlike the person who might a) have historical problems with flirting/cheating with their coworkers or b) are aware of blossoming desires and urges that can be seen through thoughts and behaviors like fantasizing, flirting, keeping secrets, or oversharing.
3. The temptation of Jesus might seem to imply we need to only be quoting Scripture back to temptation.  That is one good response!  However, that is only one aspect we need (don’t forget that other Scriptures offer additional guidance- for example, prayer isn’t even mentioned during the temptation of Jesus!).
4. The ‘keep alert’ type statements in Ephesians 6 might lead to hypervigilance, but we actually see that the progression in 10-20 offers one of the most beautiful, holistic images on how to stand strong: Put on the WHOLE armor- many parts (v. 11).  We face way more than what we see; the bigger realities are actually unseen (v. 12).  Again, put on the WHOLE armor (v.13).  This might be important if it’s mentioned twice.  Stand with truth (v. 14).  Truth grounds us so we can stand. Cover yourself with righteousness (v. 15).  HINT: righteousness is through faith alone and grace alone.  Those who belong to God also manifest the works of God.  Be made ready by the Gospel, which is good news of peace (v. 15).  Use faith to block the attacks of the enemy (v. 16).   Put on the helmet of salvation (v. 17), which is a protection from God, not us.  We cannot save ourselves- let God protect you in the way only God can.  Use the sword of the Spirit (Scripture) (v. 17). Pray at all times in the Spirit, with prayer and earnestness God (v. 18).  Keep alert, and pray for other believers (v. 18).​  Keep praying for those believers specifically sharing the Gospel and ministering to others (v. 18-20).
5. ​​5. In one verse prior to Ephesians 4:27, it says to be angry without sin.  This is one of the most clear passages in all the Bible speaking to the role of having an emotion and having thoughts- even strong ones such as experiencing anger- and yet a person can experience without sinning.  So to “give no opportunity to the Devil (Ephesians 4:26), we can strongly support that it’s not saying we should be not thinking about difficult things or demonic powers, but rather it’s an issue of what we do with them and how we approach them.
6. Proverbs has a lot of cautions towards the adulterous woman.  A narrow lens might interpret the exhortations to be only encouraging men- that would miss the whole testimony of the Bible which gives examples of men and women doing good- or evil.  In fact, the end of Proverbs (31) extols the incredible virtue of a godly woman.  There is no place that ever says “avoid attractive women/men.”  It takes wisdom (what the book of Proverbs is about- Proverbs 1:2) to discern a risky situation- and to take appropriate action.  
7. To “watch and pray” is good advice.  In Mark 14, Jesus is about to be betrayed and handed over to the religious elite.  Jesus exhibits a rich relationship talking to the Father.  In Luke 6:12 he prays all night (right before picking his disciples).  John 11:41 was a quick prayer, but set as an example to those listening.  Mark 14:36 is an example of expressing emotions and a desire to not have to face what He came to face.  Luke 18:1-14 gives a couple parables that encourage persistence in pursuing God through prayer.  The larger reality at play, though, is that this was not hypervigilance.  It was appropriate communication that was marked at times by connection, teaching, urgency, timeliness, and more at play.  Ritualistic prayer gets stuck in a rut and misses the purpose.
8. Isaiah 33:15 is not a verse saying to close one’s eyes and suppress information.  This is metaphorical as we are also told to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16).  Acts 26:18 has Paul reflecting on Christ’s call on his life, stating he was called “to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light.”

There you go.  I hope these key passages have helped identify a trajectory for facing temptation- knowing that hypervigilance or persistent fear is unbefitting God's will for believers.  


What if something I fear is also a desire?  Or becoming a desire?  This is a common question I get when helping clients call out and lean into their fears in therapy.  

As mentioned concerning the 2nd passage above (1 Corinthians 6:18), sometimes people run into things they simultaneously fear and are a risk at the same time (egosyntonic and egodystonic).  Maybe it’s abusing substances for the addict, fear of harming a child while also having actual anger outbursts, or being scared by unwanted thoughts on suicide for the depressed person who sometimes contemplates suicide.  This gets a little tricky, and I have to admit, makes the process in therapy a little more challenging.  I like a good challenge! It’s important to do a little more assessment and separate out the two domains.  On this topic, let me just say that’s what makes therapy all the more important.  Get a professional outside of yourself who can help you separate the two and know how to address both sides of the problem- a mixed desire with simultaneous lack of desire to act on a behavior.

A final word.  Deuteronomy 31:8: “ It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” 

Being overcome with fear is not what God desires for His children.  I myself and a lot of fellow Christians can be so torn up with fear when facing uncertainty or a perceived threat, forgetting that this fear itself is not from God.    

Fear manifests in all sorts of ways- ways that are often overlooked and (sometimes applauded!) by fellow believers in areas such as perfectionism (think of the workaholic in a church setting), over-thinking and analyzing (the person who appears to study the Bible often but are obsessed with minute details and not relationship), and rugged self-reliance (not submitting to authority, relying on community, and otherwise being a ‘lone ranger’).  We can often call these things high standards, thoughtful, and independent.  Insomuch as any of these things lead to a lack of dependence and faith on God through fear, we have entered into another formidable foe in and of itself!  Whether it comes from our brains (the flesh), other influences (the world), or the enemy (the Devil) (Ephesians 2:2-3).  

Fear and temptation are two different things.  Responding to them requires a different stance.  However, they can easily be confused with the other.  My prayer for you today, my friend, is that you would know the freedom and joy that is in Christ the solid rock, who will complete the work He has started in you (Philippians 1:6).  

​*Joy is not this client’s given name and is a composite of case information to protect patient confidentiality.  There are thousands of cases very similar to this.
Every reference in this article is ESV. ​

COMING SOON- the OCD Stories podcast episode with Stuart Ralph

Katherine didn’t understand why this pandemic hit her so hard. In fact, she was embarrassed that it did. “I mean, my routines and orderliness can be a little overboard, but I’ve never had difficulty getting by day-to-day. I cry at the drop of a hat and just don't know what to do." I was so honored that she admitted she was struggling, because in that honest vulnerability, she is now getting help.*

In this time of COVID-19, there is a common expectation: the misconception that "healthy" means we won't feel anxious - or the opposite: success is defined by feeling completely safe, confident, or certain. That's crap.
​
Though it’s nice to feel less anxious, it’s not always reality, even if we’re doing all the right things. I mostly work with clients by helping them learn to stay focused on things of value, regardless of how they feel. Overall anxiety reduction is a result of various factors and is rarely immediate. In time, with supportive factors, anxiety often will go down. Jesus himself felt greatly distressed and overwhelmed, at times, too, if you didn’t know. He wept, sweated, pleaded, was scared, bled, and got angry and frustrated. He understands because he can actually relate - physically and emotionally. He gets Katherine's suffering - and yours, too.
Life involves not only facing bad things that don't happen, but also bad things that do. The question is, are you trained and ready? Can you still keep your focus even when the world around you and inside of you seems to be in chaos? Here are some quick tips to help you stay grounded in reality.


1. Be assertive. Routines have changed. We have to communicate to make the covert overt, like telling your loved one if you need a break to recharge (they can't read your mind!).
2. Be careful of untrue thoughts. Unrealistic thought patterns negatively impact our entire life, like All-or-Nothing Thinking. For example, "Since I’ve been eating poorly it doesn't make a difference if I exercise.” Katherine, mentioned earlier, fell into this trap by believing she was doing a terrible job simply because she felt overwhelmed. Mental health is based on grasping reality to the extent we can. Watch your thoughts and line them up with reality as much as possible.
3. Don't over-consume on substances. Caffeine and alcohol are certainly the most popular substances to monitor.
4. Downtime/Mindfulness/Quiet. The importance of giving our brain pauses and rest cannot be overstated. During a crisis, we need more intentionality to slow down unhealthy processes that are automatic or deeply ingrained. Learn to be mindful, slow down the process, and/or meditate on something beneficial- like how much God cares for you and promises to never leave or forsake you. Benefits range from increased focus and function to decreased stress and disease.
5. Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors - Tune In. Be aware of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. God gave you these - learn to pay attention to them and discover how to respond - sometimes in ways you might not expect.
6. Exercise. Exercise is highly connected to mental health. If you’re stuck in the house, there are ways to get creative. Make a game with a fitness tracker! Compete with others! Set up prizes for yourself or children! Get outside where possible and get moving.
7. Get Support. Use trustworthy support. Few things in life (if any) are done well without support. One place to get support is through an online or in-person Live Second Group.
8. Have fun! We all need reminding to pursue fun. Even the term ‘recreation’ is based on the concept 'recreate '- “to give new life.”
9. Medication. Medication can play a necessary role in well-being. You don’t need to feel shame if you can use a physiological boost for your brain health. Consult a health professional if this would be the right option for you.
10. Normal structure. Our brains integrate information we don't need to remember and becomes second nature. So when you change your routine massively, you will feel out of balance. That’s okay! Try to make use of old structures while learning to develop new ones!
11. Nutrition/Diet. Be careful not to overindulge on carbs and sugars - the snacky & sweet food you may feel the urge to “pound,”which can offer quick energy and pleasure, but overconsumption won’t benefit you. In fact, it will impact you negatively.
12. Prayer. Open communication and presence with the God of the universe is what we access through prayer! His power is what I need; it's really good to follow a big God who is over all our circumstances.
13. Prioritize. Limit inputs of information and stimulation or your brain will do its best to force limits and push you back into what’s called “homeostasis” (or balance), which can lead to feeling burnout and depression.
14. Serve others. Loving our neighbor as ourselves is beautiful. Not only does it help them, but we also can find much encouragement and joy. Learning and growth is often solidified when we can teach, pass along, and serve. Win-win.
15. Sleep. As one of the most important contributors to all aspects of health, good sleep is a necessary foundation to good health.
16. Spend/Save/Give money. Work from a budget. Spending money can be satisfying. Giving it away is powerful to others and ourselves. Taking on unnecessary debts, overspending and being miserly or hypervigilant all lead to stress in different ways.
17. Socialize. We are social beings. Direct contact releases neurotransmitters! But so can positive interactions in this time where we can’t touch much. Wow! For the time being, technology, phones, letters, or writing on messages on cardboard goes a long way.
18. Spirituality/Faith. What do you live for? What do you believe? And are you living congruently with it? Are you allowing yourself to ask questions and pursue guidance, support, and practices around what is good and true and beautiful and lovely? To discover more about what it looks like to follow Jesus watch this.
19. Sunlight. Not only is sunlight important in Vitamin D production, natural light is linked with numerous processes ranging from sleep to mood and much more. If you must be indoors or have limitations on natural light, find ways to maximize it.
20. Supplements. There is good evidence that several supplements can aid in mental health; some linked most commonly to mental health are Vitamin D, B Complex, and Omega-3 Fatty Acids (always follow your doctor’s advice).
21. Your context is your context. Don't compare. "Comparison is the thief of joy." When we look at where we are, don't let expectations crowd out what you're supposed to be about.
Keep in mind this is educational content and not intended as a substitute for professional advice, treatment, or diagnosis. Any of these tips will come across as too simple for someone suffering highly.

​ Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), the gold standard treatment for OCD, can be fairly straightforward once understood.  However, certain nuances are crucial for facilitating learning, growth, and maximal fear disconfirmation (fancy terms for successfully overcoming fearful responses).  Here are 10 tips- click on the picture for a downloadable version:
​

1. Be prepared to feel uncomfortable- a healthy mind is not made in comfort.
2. Structure- it’s important to know how OCD functions, all the clever ways it can sneak past you, and specific strategies that confront the heart of compulsions, which drive obsessional anxiety and disruption to life. Prepare and have a back-up plan.
3. Repeat in mixed contexts. The strongest training requires going beyond one practice or context.
4. Varied- challenge yourself to face varying levels of anxiety- and multiple situations.
5. Track your anxiety level and urges to ritualize.
6. Attempt to not fight fear- it only reinforces it.
7. Avoid subtle avoidance strategies. These also reinforce fear.
8. Test negative predictions. Real-life ERP experiments inhibit faulty/erroneous misappraisals when you experimentally reveal you CAN face your fears. How did you do? Did the worst thing happen?
9. Stick with exposures until your prediction has been tested experientially. You are rewiring your brain for resiliency!
10. Practice alone! Develop strength on your own, not just with others (therapist).

​

Adapted from: Abramowitz, J. S., & Jacoby, R. J. (2015). Obsessive-compulsive disorder in adults. Boston, MA: Hogrefe Publishing.


OCD is an extremely debilitating disorder as a whole, ranking as one of the top ten medical and mental illnesses in the world- right alongside such things as Heart Disease, Major Depression, and COPD, according to the World Health Organization. With 2 out of 3 people reporting severe impairment at some point in their lives (e.g., work, relationships, school), you can count on OCD to create an ever increasing set of problems- without effective treatment. Furthermore, around 90% have at least one comorbid mental disorder, such as Major Depression, Panic Disorder, or a Substance Use Disorder. OCD has a tendency to make sufferers “hostages"- feeling stuck in an ever-narrowing loop of behaviors and/or thoughts that usually seem nonsensical to the person themselves, which tends to drive even more shame. Families and support are collateral damage. It is crucial to identify the threat and connected suffering of OCD in order to fully address its impact- and to have the proper perspective and motivation in getting necessary treatment. ​

Attempt to really understand your loved one’s suffering, and understand how to help, howa not to help, and how to stay healthy yourself. Finding effective support and treatment is crucial. You don’t have to have diagnosable OCD to be an incredible advocate. Myself and a majority of my OCD specialist colleague/friends do not have diagnosable OCD.
Knowing treatments that are effective helps to stay grounded and focused. In short, a specific subset of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) known as ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) is the Gold Standard in treatment. SSRI medications (and clomipramine, a TCA) are used as the first line psychopharmacological treatments. 
 Supportive psychotherapy is not evidence-based first-line treatment for OCD. You may love a counselor who is very supportive, but if they’re not doing some sort of exposures or behavioral experiments, and there’s not a noted clinical reason why they cannot, consider an OCD specialist, because they are not following clinical practice guidelines. Again, check out my Intro Brochure​ and ERP for OCD Presentation for more on the research and specifics.

Taking OCD seriously involves seeing it- and you may help your loved one see it more clearly through your loving support. When it is beneficial to a client, I almost always recommend involving a supportive loved one at some point in treatment. We would consider it odd or unusual not to involve a family member in many other medical treatments. A major challenge with mental illness is making the unseen seen.  ​

Support needs to strike a balance between being overly-accommodating and overly-emotionally expressive (outbursts, hostility, negativity, etc.). The well-researched terms we use to describe these are Family Accommodation (FA) and Emotional Expression (EE). Break the Cycle!! Don’t Do Compulsions for them (by proxy). Begin (with a plan) to minimize your accommodation. Typically in therapy, I help to incrementally get rid of accommodation altogether without “pulling the rug out” too fast (i.e., in one day). Therapeutically, all client rituals must ideally be terminated to maximize outcomes. Helping a loved one ritualize only feeds the cycle. Don’t Give Reassurance. To do this well, you often need to be involved in the prior steps this article elucidates. It can be tricky to know what is reassurance and what is not. Ask questions of your loved one. If they are not open to sharing, you may have to do your best to set your own boundaries, make an informed guess, and base your limits on your own personal boundaries until they're willing to communicate further. Part of feeding obsessions involves engaging the content of obsessions with logic, emotion, and reactions. The person with OCD must learn to live their goals and values without following the content of obsessions. Be careful not to get pulled in, either through accommodation or emotionality. Offer to go to therapy with your loved one if they are willing. You can also gain much support by doing your own therapy, as well! Part of support may be helping covering costs of therapy.
 Just to be clear- you get to have your own emotions, whatever they are! But EE refers to when these emotions are expressed in harmful ways.
​

If you have made it this far to read this article, you are quite likely a key support of someone who has OCD. It is then very likely that you care and want to make a difference. You rock. Keep up the good work. 
​ ​

An editor for the American Counseling Association reached out to me about OCD from a Specialists' perspective.  (I was so proud of them for doing their research with multiple specialists!!). The following are excellent questions that may help inform their ACA magazine article in February 2020.  Whether they utilize any of these or not, I hope they are helpful for you as they cover important questions to consider with regard to treatment.  



"What presenting issues might bring these clients into counseling?" 

• Intrusive thoughts!  Many of my clients initially seek out counseling because they have been plagued by intrusive, unwanted thoughts.  They wonder what this says about them, even though there is often some sense of it being senseless and out-of-context (we call it ego-dystonic).  
• "Tipping point" behaviors- people start to notice problems in routines that begin taking too long, physical  pain caused from washing, mental stress from extensive rituals (needing to "feel" a certain way, pray a certain way, walk through doorways multiple times, pick 7th item at the grocery store, and so on).
• Family, friends, and spouses are a great source of support (and pressure, at times), which can help lead to a client first coming for a session.  Some of my clients (more often than not, in the pediatric population) have low motivation for themselves, and it is a concerned loved one who (hopefully lovingly, sometimes not) asks them to seek treatment.

"What are some “red flags” for counselors to listen for that might indicate OCD in a client who came in for something else (anxiety, ADHD, etc.)?"
If a counselor begins hearing the exact same things, worded or behaved in similar ways, this is a good indicator to watch out for.  Many of my clients are good at exactly quoting themselves on what they've said before.  Obsessions are repetitions on a theme; if you get good at catching the theme, you can usually spot an obsession miles away.

At its core, it's not remarkably difficult to identify criteria in OCD (in most straightforward cases) if a counselor brushes up on what they're looking for (dust off that DSM-5!). 

Furthermore, if a client isn't improving from certain methods (especially things like Cognitive Restructuring in CBT), this is "Getting Stuck 101" and needs further assessment.  Most of my clients have had prior experience with a counselor who had no idea how to treat OCD from an evidence based way and approached the same as regular old automatic negative thoughts. This is not typically helpful. 

"What counseling methods/techniques can be helpful when working with clients with obsessive behavior and/or OCD? Please explain how this/these method(s) work well for this client population. If possible, please talk about a case example (without identifying information) who worked with you and showed improvement. What were his/her presenting issues, what methods did you use and what issues did you focus on in counseling sessions?"
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is the GOLD standard treatment (which is a very specific subset of CBT).  It is indicated as the starting point for all OCD treatment.  This is a strong statement, but it is backed by the research (the most RCTs by far) and organizations like the IOCDF, APA, and so forth.  SSRI (and Clomipramine, a TCA) medications are also first-line psychopharmacological treatments, though with less effect on average than ERP.  Both combined can be helpful, though may not necessarily increase the overall benefit of just ERP alone. Another first-line treatment for OCD (though not the "gold standard") is Cognitive Therapy with Behavioral Experiments.  Along with medications, it is seen as sometimes a more agreeable option for those who are hesitant to engage in exposure therapy (which intentionally and repeatedly provokes distress in order to respond differently- i.e., without compulsions).

Adjunct therapies, medications, and treatments are utilized.  In the interest of brevity, research has discovered the integration of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), and other techniques can be helpful to provide well-rounded treatment and/or facilitate the practice of ERP.

To share a classic example [identifying factors changed to protect confidentiality- this type of case is remarkably common], one woman came to me with severely distressing thoughts about harming her children (no history of harm or abuse).  She knew it was irrational, yet it felt so real to her; the more these intrusive thoughts continued to appear, the more difficult it was for her to determine her intent from confusing feelings and "impulses" to stab her kids.  Upon receiving a diagnosis of OCD, I thoroughly assessed history with symptoms, and educated on the CBT model for understanding OCD treatment with a rationale for CBT and ERP. We discussed medication options, to which the client was willing to pursue with their Psychiatrist.  The client was very cooperative due to a high willingness and intrinsic motivation to be able to engage at home with her two children and spouse. As can be very typical, the stress also took a toll on most every area of life, making work difficult. Once we began ERP, we started with doable exposures while learning how to stay present with triggers and distress- without compulsing.  Upon successful practice of more manageable triggers on their hierarchy, they- with the incredible support of their spouse and church and loved ones- made a jump in their exposure work that began with "scripts" (imaginal exposure stating/writing distressing thoughts and quickly progressed to holding knives and stating these feared thoughts aloud) and transitioned to  practices situationally at home, holding knives and saying scripts aloud (in separate rooms appropriately not in front of their young children).  The incredible support around this client, along with a sense of strong purpose, helped facilitate (this is part of ACT) the integration of ERP into daily life. They would be considered recovered at this point, scoring so low on the Y-BOCS (gold-standard assessment in rating severity) that their symptoms are sub-clinical. In relapse prevention planning, they understand the chronic nature of OCD and the necessity of staying on top of their good progress, with the plan to follow-up at occasional intervals for "booster sessions."  I gain so much joy from stories like these.


"People with an OCD diagnosis may be taking medication and seeing other professionals (psychiatrists, psychologists). How could a counselor work in tandem with these other professionals? Please include a case example, if possible."
Coordinating care can be difficult, but worth it for the best client care!  Although seamless communication and record exchange between providers is likely ideal, it just rarely happens in real life.  Working within the space and limits that exist, I have found that outside of those very few therapists and Psychiatrists I can have near immediate communication with, it is still very helpful and feasible to at least request/give one way communication to a provider.  In complex cases, it is almost unheard of for me to not outreach another provider that is connected somehow to shared treatment concerns. I think we need to be realistic about other providers' schedules and communicate what we can- how we can. This often looks like me leaving a Psychiatrist a voicemail after release is given- and not hearing back- but at least they have the information. It may be coordinating with another therapist who is treating other concerns. Early on, I used to welcome other counselors working at the same time on separate diagnostic concerns. Though I may work with someone now who is seeing another professional for something like, say, Depression, it is usually quite imperative that I make known to the patient and also the other provider the pitfalls of feeding compulsions through reassurance, ruminating, and so forth. This is a great opportunity for education of those who are not specialists in OCD.  But OCD being as debilitating as it is (2 out of 3 people experience severe impairment at some point in their life), I need to work hard upfront to educate especially the patient about how hard they will need to work (and not undermine) their exposure therapy. Also, many other comorbidities can often improve significantly just by treating the OCD first.  

"How, particularly, are counselors a “good fit” for helping clients with obsessive behaviors? How can they help people with OCD differently than a psychologist would?"
It has been my personal experience that my colleagues who are counselors (Master's level, typically), bring to the table incredible creativity and "outside the box" thinking.  Many of the hands-on resources, videos, blogs, and social media that exist to help the sufferer of OCD often come from Master's level clinicians. I believe there is great flexibility many of my counselor colleagues have (which is a positive and a weakness all at the same time, sometimes lacking the rigors of adhering to the evidence based treatment protocols).

There are actually quite a few more Master's level clinicians than Psychologists, and there is a great need for more clinicians offering great treatment.  Counselors can help fill this gap.

"As a practitioner who specializes in working with OCD, is there anything else you would want counselors who don’t specialize in this area to know?"
For many reasons, I love work with clients who have OCD.  I have found they are some of the kindest, hardest working, conscientious individuals on this planet.  This is where I believe many of their personality strengths arise once moving through pathology. It is a joy every day to see recovery, growth, and maturity bloom out of suffering.

"Any main take-aways to share?"
OCD Treatment can be so rewarding! It has very effective treatments for most, very clear evidence, incredible improvement that can be witnessed in a short period of time, and there are wonderful opportunities to get invested in this world with a community of professionals, sufferers, and supporters who are incredible. 

Sincerely,
~Justin K. Hughes

“Why can’t I stop thinking about this?”  “Why can't I stop?  I know it doesn't make sense.” 

William went to the Middle East after his unit was deployed from Ft. Hood.  Most of what he heard about soldiers’ experiences were rumors and media stories- he had no way to be prepared for what would happen.  After nearly 6 months of swallowing sand stirred up by 110 degree winds, William had 5 days left until he would return home.  Momentarily losing his hearing, all his senses were shaken when an IED tore shrapnel through his three closest friends.  They were dead.  Just like that.  After being rushed by helicopter for triage medical care, William soon discovered he only narrowly missed death- the same shards of nails and rocks that killed his friends were found inches away from where he stood. 
Returning home is where cleaning up the fragments took the longest.  After being debriefed and allowed medical and family leave, Bill struggled getting back to civilian life.  Some of the most difficult times he faced were trying to overcome his own unexpected reactions to situations, usually late at night where he would awake from a noise, pulling his wife down from the bed onto the floor to take cover.  When he became calm, he was covered in sweat, visually stunned by recalling what had happened weeks before- and so embarrassed to be dragging his wife- literally- into the center of his problems. 

This is trauma.  This is the story of William’s PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder).  Hopefully his story can help bring understanding to struggles faced by those dealing with trauma and respect for our service men and women. 

It’s not very difficult to have some sense of empathy for William’s situation.  It’s often much harder to understand another very real and very overwhelming problem.  It is called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).  You may be curious why this article spends so much time talking about PTSD, only to discuss OCD.  Two reasons.  OCD actually has some similar features and neurobiology to PTSD, and secondly, if we are to listen to the struggles of others, often we must start with something we do grasp a little more readily.

Whether a person is triggered into feeling distress from trauma or obsessions, their brain is becoming hyperactive in warning of a threat.  This wonderful system when working properly can be nightmarish when the reactions surface out-of-context.  Think of the panic you would feel if you saw someone almost being run over by a car- your fight/flight/freeze response would activate and prepare the body and mind.  Now imagine it occurring at random times and being uncontrollable.  

Despite popular references of, “I'm so OCD” and “He really likes the house OCD clean,” [FYI, OCD is not an adjective] this diagnosable mental health condition is a serious disorder- and far beyond a person’s immediate ability to just “stop it.”  Because the anxiety and distress a person with OCD feels is so bothersome and intrusive, they naturally seek to alleviate it- sometimes with elaborate mental rituals to “do away” with the anxiety (e.g., counting, prayer, neutralizing statements) and sometimes with physical compulsions and avoidance to feel better (e.g., “I feel anxious when someone touches my clothes and need to change and wash them immediately”).  To some people, this sounds "crazy."  But in our age of neuroscience (and OCD is remarkably well established), we cannot deny scientifically the paint and suffering involved in the sufferer's life.  Their mind- and often body- SCREAM with discomfort until they do something to alleviate it.  And the compulsion works!  Momentarily, at least for a bit.  It problematically, though, reinforces the learning, connections, and neural pathways linked to disorder as opposed to reinforcing healthy, non-compulsive behavior. 

To stand up to OCD, a person needs to ultimately eliminate all compulsions.  What do we make of this?  Do we expect the person with PTSD to just jump back in to just get on with their lives?  Nope.  Let me be clear with OCD (and this is also true of PTSD).

There is hope and very effective treatment.  

We don’t have to understand, ultimately, to love.  As many as 1-3 % of the population wrestle with this.  Look around- that’s someone in your neighborhood or at the restaurant where you ate.  Will you lend a helping hand to those who suffer?  I will.

Yours truly,
Justin K. Hughes

​Check out more resources on my page dedicated to them:

This video and guide below were specially formulated to help you be mindful in an "Exposure-Friendly" way.

This one's a bit different from the average mindfulness practice you might be familiar with.  The reason it's called "Exposure-Friendly" is that it is specially designed to help a person be mindful of whatever they are experiencing, not just attempting to feel better.  This is a hallmark of exposure therapy: being able to tolerate distress without engaging in pathological responses (rituals, safety behaviors) that negatively reinforce fear.  Distractions and relaxation when facing our fears can backfire (see the research at the end of the Guide).  So if we need a different set of tools to face fear, here's one of them.  I hope it helps.

Blessings,

~Justin

I didn’t think much about it.  Once I began to shift from a trim guy in my young 20’s to borderline overweight/obese by my late 20’s, I was introduced to research on the deleterious effects of consuming so much added sugar in my diet.  But I also gained maybe the most crucial part of any health advice: the support to live it out.

The most significant early clinical and research voice for me was Dr. Mark Hyman, Director, Center for Functional Medicine at the Cleveland Clinic.  I was watching a documentary on Netflix in 2015[2] that featured him significantly.  It added to my already growing knowledge and personal experience, which especially helped me a) stop compartmentalizing nutrition (150 calories from Coke ≠ 150 calories from vegetables) and b) look more closely at what I put in my body.  

Bolstered by personal recovery in multiple areas of my life, and leaning on my wife who was super supportive of me, these convergences facilitated what I hadn’t been able to do prior:

• I almost entirely cut out added sugar from my daily diet at first, and now use sparingly with a limited number of desserts.  
  • I lost 45 pounds in about a year and a half, the first 5-10 pounds was just cutting out sugary sodas.  
  • I slowly cut consumption (small things to begin, like not eating past 10:30 pm at night), and then really worked on eating vegetables.  If I wanted a snack, I’d learn to find vegetables, nuts, and fruits). I found foods I enjoyed that I could eat basically as much as I wanted.
  • I began to look BIG-picture at food with an observant eye- and discovered (shocker!) that even my favorite salads possessed added sugar, and not just in the dressing.  Places like McDonald’s and Chik-fil-A add sugar into different items in their salad toppings and breadings (can anyone say candied pecans?).  Stores like Costco sell a lot of “organic” items, but when I look at the packages and see the ingredients lists on most items, I still find a lot of added sugar, sodium, etc.  
  • I still enjoy dessert!  I just had two slices of cake at my sister-in-law’s wedding!  And I loved it.

One of my discoveries is that existing advice often conflicts, and (as with all things) can be driven by profit, greed, and ambition.  Instead of getting embroiled in all these details, I began to think critically for myself and make a plan with support. Here’s the simplest advice that’s now supported relatively across the board:

Recommendations for Added Sugar:
CDC (U.S.)

• In a 2,000 calorie diet, 50 g of added sugar is the max recommended (10% of total energy intake).

WHO (World Health Organization) Recommendations[3]

• Strongly recommends less than 10% of total energy intake as free sugars, 
• And conditionally less than 5%.

Part of a healthy body, mind, and spirit involves an honest look at what we put in our bodies.  Nutrition is, of course, one of the most important realities of daily life. Much success and suffering comes from our consumption and discipline around food- and in that regard, it’s not much different from other areas of life such as our thoughts and beliefs, exercise, generosity, and work and rest.

I’m nowhere near an expert in the food realm, and this post is more personal in nature.  I hesitated writing it for a while so as not to make another one of those ‘Look at me now!’ posts.  The last thing I want is for anyone reading this to feel shamed by a braggadocious post on self-improvement.  I personally didn’t have a bunch of shame about my weight prior, nor would that have helped. I want to thank my sister-in-law, Camille, for encouraging me that people might benefit from my personal story.  I hope it helps.  

As a therapist, I walk with people every day through CBT and counseling to take action.  Traditional medicine, articles, and diets all serve their purpose.  My job is to help people make change, personalized to them, in the context of reality- that we must all live in, or not- only to our detriment.  

If you take nothing else away from this, here are the keys I want to share:

• You (and others) are inherently valuable.
• Nutrition is a significant part of life that, when it goes well or poorly, affects all other aspects of life.
• Consider introspection over your relationship to things like added sugar that, when over-consumed, creates major problems.  
• Goals are great, but change has to be doable.  Unrealistic expectations are a killer of motivation and long-term success!
• I’m here as a resource if you need me!
• Everyone is different, but all of us have to live by the principles of reality.  The more realistic we are about looking and facing it squarely, the more congruent our lives will be.

Sincerely,

Justin


[1] Added sugar is different than sugar as it naturally occurs, like in fruits and vegetables.  See Harvard Health's post here.
[2] “Fed Up”- not that I endorse everything in it, but there were a couple key lessons that I have incorporated from this documentary.
[3] This whole resource is quite fabulous with lots of good research and narrative.  I nerded out with it!