I’ve got another confession to make. No, I’m not starting the song, Foo Fighters’ “Best of You.” I have been trying to cram WAY too much into life recently. My brain feels that stress, and so does my body. Blame it on the world, my environment, being “busy” with my life, my kids, my job- but at the end of the day I’m the one who’s responsible- and gets to enjoy the freedom from- or despair- of squeezing one more thing in.
Take a look at these screenshots.
These were Instagram stories. If you’re not familiar with Instagram, these are quick, 24 hour stories that disappear. So I posted 4 of them accidentally- and a couple were some of my most viewed (not sure what that says about my other posts, haha). I did lean in with acceptance to not give into shame- which is always a good thing. However, I figured out today why they were happening: I was posting and closing out the app too quickly. This led to the posts not being completed and the blank screens you see. No big deal, right? However, I considered what this actually meant:
Justin, you’re rushing. You’re not being mindful. You’re trying to do more than is healthy. You’re trying to do “all the things.” You’re not pausing to be still. You’re trying to force a break to happen while you force a little more work in.
Ever experience that?
I realized the above because of many supports in place in my life, that moment because I was tracking and monitoring my thoughts and feelings (I talk about this a lot in my free guide, “Get Unstuck”).
Yes, catching and confronting how I respond to my own anxieties is a life-long journey, one which I experience amazing recovery in TODAY- but is not yet perfect, and won’t be- this side of heaven.
Sufferers of Anxiety Unite!
The good news is that these things are common for people, and especially sufferers of anxiety- I’m not alone. The bad news is that lack of present-mindedness, rushing, fear of failure, and such can really begin to run the show. I’m not okay with that. I want God to be in charge- and for me to be faithful to that.
So I’m doubling down today on the need to pause, reflect, rest, be mindful, NOT accomplish– because God actually desires that as part of my obedience and for my good. I’m circling back to live by the Gospel of peace, NOT the Gospel of Anxiety. I’m going to move away from “The Hurried Spiritual Life.” (Click on each of those links to read other articles I’ve written on the topics.)